This sounds awful, but I never really understood the hype about military families.
Dating has become such a train wreck of an endeavor for the modern human. Are you talking or just texting, fucking or dating, is that Instagram art or do you just think my tits are great? These questions invade a mind constantly and there is no answer. That is the joke. Dating today is a joke.
The act of courting has become the medium for people to break each other and have it be ok.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
My older sister gave me one of the most valuable pieces of advice, “No matter how much you have, remember, you are never better than anyone else.”
She delivered this gem over a glass of wine and heaping plates of Thai food, as a response to some bitchy quip I made, probably about the negligent wait staff.
I did not give her advice much weight, it seamed so cliche and irrelevant.
Nearly three years later I find myself working as an intern at a magazine that caters to the hoity toity of the Ocean State.
I love where I intern.
The people I physically work with are lovely; they’re educated, cultured and extremely trendy.
I write about cool topics, am able to dress nicely and I am allowed to feel, for at least two days of the week, that I have a job I love.
It could go to a girl’s head.
The office this magazine is based in keeps all the bathrooms locked. You have to retrieve the key from a set location and then unlock the door. Even though it is a multi stall room, because there is only one key (that I know of), you always end up having the whole bathroom to yourself.
This, obviously, has its advantages.
One day I went to use the restroom and found the door open and custodian cleaning it. He looked at me quickly, apologized and rushed out of the room so I could use it.
Before I told him I had no qualms about peeing in a stall while he cleaned the sink, he had gathered his supplies and scooted off.
It struck me that he was probably use to being treated like shit and looked down on by most people in the building.
I found this extremely funny because as I relieved myself I realized, in my humble opinion, that a person could have a PhD from Oxford, be married to a millionaire, and look like Lana Del Rey, but if I were that janitor and I came back into my clean restroom to find someone had peed on the toilet seat, to me you would just be some dumb bitch who couldn’t take a piss correctly.
With that realization, I finally understood the wisdom in the advice my sister gave me.
So, remember kids:
No matter how high and mighty you think you are, everyone skids the bowl once in a while.