Viva Tequila

My Tuesday nights are your Friday nights.

I knew the evening was going downhill when we (my best friend and I) started it off around 4pm with a Scorpion Bowl and a pitcher of Margaritas at Shanghai, on Thayer Street.
I’m not going to give all the details, but the night progressed into sitting in an alleyway for an hour, breaking into a strip club, the releasing of bodily fluids in a parking lot, and four bottles and wine glass being violently hurled out a second story window.
There is also an amazing Gangnam Style video that was shot on a bed. 

Starting your night with tequila is not always the way to go.

HOWEVER, you know what you should start your night with? Sex.

I’m an advocate for working those nitty gritty, carnal urges out of one’s system before getting to know another person better.
Maybe I am damaged, but I find it extremely hard to concentrate on what a person is saying when I’m slowly undressing them with my mind.

Most people would equate this to a need to feel loved.
That is false.

The absolute LAST thing I need from a man is love.
I have a huge family, an amazing best friend and a slew of very cool people I surround myself with, that love me.
I do not need for a male to hold me, adore me, and tell me I am beautiful.
When I am laying naked in your bed and I have no idea what your name is, I would bet that you probably find me attractive.

What I do need from a guy is sex, good sex.

Believe it or not, females enjoy copulation and desire it just as much as men.
Unfortunately, if I girl “sluts it up” she is seen as damaged goods, where a boy who bangs anything with two legs is a god.
It’s bullshit.

This revelation is not new to me, but I started thinking about it while I was in my drunken stupor at The Foxy Lady.
The men in that establishment, I could hear them talking about the dancers; demeaning and demoralizing them.
The irony? These women were more powerful than all those suited up dicks combined.
Strippers use their usually natural assets, to con these pathetic patrons out of their hard earned money. Most of the girls do not even dance! Seriously, it is impossible to find a real pole dancer anymore. Nowadays they just rub their bums, gyrate a bit, and these morons, who slave away nine to five, fork over hundreds of dollars to a girl who is just getting some light cardio in!

It’s brilliant.

I think men demoralize women’s sexuality because they realize, one smooth talking set of tits can derail them entirely.

In conclusion, from this post you should have learned that tequila (in excess) leads to bad decisions, that lead to deep thoughts, that lead to revelations on your sexual habits.

Viva Tequila.


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