If “Crazy” were an STD I would have inevitably caught it by now.
It’s such a good line I had to repeat it.
I had a sort of epiphany recently, either that or I am starting to grow up.
It was a big change of mindset for someone like me.
The only equivalent I can think of is the kind of split second 180 the mind of a crack addict must do if they wake up one day in the gutters and then two weeks later are running a successful presidential campaign.
My “aha” moment came with from my realization that I am starting to believe sex means something.
Before you all call me the biggest hypocrite in the universe, I’m not saying that you should wait (or not wait!) until marriage, and I’m not saying that every person you fuck is special.
because in my experience they usually are not. What I am saying is that sex means something in the moment it is occurring and probably something important.
I do not understand exactly what it means, but when I figure that out I’ll put up a blog about it along with accurate GPS coordinates for the Holy Grail.
What I do know is that having sex is literally the closest two people can be after birth.
If you sleep with someone long enough your brain chemicals (in a normal brain) develop feelings for the other person.
It is how we are able to create human life.
Those facts have to be significant. Right?
On top of all that, I see daily the kind of confusion people work themselves into over this primal function.
I honestly believe that everyone realizes that sex is a big deal and they deal with it in different ways.
Scare themselves shitless and abstain or wait until marriage.
Fuck like they do not care because if they admit what they’re doing bears weight then, they have to be honest and for some people that is a fate worse than death.
Or, they go about doing their business and when the moment arises they may engage in intercourse, but they are honest, communicative, and do not lead other people on or give false hopes.
If everyone strove to be like the last group there would be far less pain in this world.
“Yes sex means something, I don’t know what, but I would like to share that moment with you, however I do not want to marry you or possibly see you again? Is that ok?”
If someone could show me that kind of honestly I would be eternally grateful.
And I should probably show that honesty too…..
So much hurt comes from treating sex like it is nothing, instead of admitting you do not understand it but you know it means something, and then explaining your expectations.
Instead we lie to one another, either denying our own insecurities and saying it was nothing, or realizing something and giving false hope by lying about emotions we then feel obligated to have.
It’s ok for things to be important in that moment.
Nothing lasts forever, so why should a one night stand be the be apex on your love life?
That moment is important, it does not mean that the frat girl you banged freshman year of college was the one, it just means while you were banging her you were participating in something no one really understands and that is worth pondering.
Honestly, keep fucking or not fucking as many people as you feel like, but be considerate, be respectful and never act like it means nothing; because anytime anyone is inside you (or you’re inside someone) be it a baby, a surgeon or a lover, it is important you do not act recklessly.