Straight from the Camel’s Mouth

*Boyfriend jumps on bed scaring me into a state of consciousness*

ME: “Why did you wake me up!?”

BOY: “It’s 9am! Anyone who sleeps past nine is lazy.”

ME: “I’m OK with that. I was having a really cool dream! A camel was serenading me with ‘Somebody to Love’ by Queen.”

BOY: “Animals talk regularly in your dreams?”

ME: “Occasionally.”

BOY: “That explains a lot about you.”

ME: “How so?”

BOY: “It just give a lot of insight on your perception of reality.”

I have no idea what he was insinuating, but if animals can’t sing in my dreams then I don’t want to dream.

I don’t know if it’s relevant, but the next night I had a dream that my scalp was flaking off in such huge chunks that half way through the dream I became bald on the very top of my head, with a rash that resembled ringworm all over my face.

I should probably stop eating before bed.

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