Trigger Warning here: discussing rape/sexual violence
Full Disclosure: I’ve never been raped and I acknowledge that if someone has experienced sexual violence they will likely feel differently about this article than I do.
I’ve linked an article above that discusses a thread on Reddit asking rapists to explain their side of the story.
Most of the outcry I’ve heard around the femisphere is that these men are being painted as victims, rather than as predators.
I agree, that is incredibly problematic.
However, I do think hearing their side of what happened does offer insight into the damaging psychology of how we are currently raising our boys.
I haven’t read the actual Reddit thread myself and I am not sure I want to weed through every excuse for that inexcusable behavior. However, in the Jezebel article I did find it interesting that several boys felt they “couldn’t control their hormones” (I’m paraphrasing from some but indirectly quoting others).
I wonder if this is partially conditioning from how (starting at a very young age) we force girls to cover up, quiet down and be careful for their own protection. Rather than holding boys accountable for their behavior towards women’s bodies, we let their hormones and impulses be excused by what we label a women’s carelessness. (She was drunk, she was dressing slutty, she was promiscuous, on and on. . .)
I would love to know other’s feeling on this matter. Do you think hearing their side is totally worthless? Do you think it offers too much space for the predators to play the victim? Or do you think there is something to learn from this?
Until next time ❤